As I spend my evenings prepping for the race, I’m finding it difficult to wind down for bed. Instead of tossing and turning, I grabbed my computer to share what the Lord has been showing me:
We all have those moments where we look to the future and it seems completely impossible. Or, we look to the past, and are filled with shame knowing it is filled with sin and mistakes. I had one of those moments driving home late last night. After spending the evening at a wonderful, Christ-centered wedding, I found myself reflecting on my life. The Lord used my drive home for some vulnerable, intimate time with him. Through tears I repeated to Him, “I’m sorry.” “I’m sorry for my mistakes, for my sins, for running from you, for doing it all wrong. I wish I could do it over again. I’d do it different. I’d do it better. I’d do it right.”
The thing is, we don’t get do-overs. We only get one life.
Through my frustrations and my emotions, a dear friend reminded me that this isn’t where my story ends. He used my brokenness to bring me to Him. My weakness is what allowed me to truly seek God.
Here’s the good news: I don’t have to carry my shame. I don’t have to carry my burdens. My sins have been forgiven. Those were paid for on the cross. So often we try to carry things that Jesus has already carried for us. So last night, on a dark highway, in a quiet car, he showed me that I needed to let go. He showed me that I don’t need to feel shame for my past because I have been born again and he has made me new-Hallelujah!
Right after that moment, this song came on the radio and I smiled knowing it was God’s perfect timing:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBUQqLp6N24
Through life’s busyness, if we don’t take time to slow down and let God in, He will find a way in. He is showing me that I need to rest. He is showing me that I need to fill my days with Him, not my to do lists. What’s the point in following Him if I’m trying to lead the whole time?
I recently listened to a podcast that talked about dancing with God. When a little girl stands on her Father’s feet and He dances, her feet go where his go. What a beautiful way to picture this life with our heavenly Father-trusting Him enough to let Him lead, letting Him take the steps, and following where He goes. Sometimes we go sideways, sometimes we go backwards, but my steps are always with His.
Love this, Lauren! The words you’ve written are so true. We don’t need to carry shame, for we aren’t designed to carry it – as we lay shame at Abba’s feet, we find rest & remember our true identity. I’ve ironically also had an image in my mind recently of a child standing on the Father’s feet, letting Him lead the way – so good! 🙂